Don't Repeat Your Resume - How to Write Top-Tier PIQs

Our first PIQ article has done really well, so we're here to give the people what they want! Today, we'll be talking about more detailed advice for writing Personal Insight Questions. Without further ado, here are some more problems we see in student PIQs.

All Accomplishment, No Narrative

A common mistake that we see is students trying to cram their resume and their awards list into a narrative form that ends up sounding more like a laundry list of “why I’m awesome”! While you are definitely an awesome person, you should portray this through your personal insight questions in a more subtle way. The key is to focus on no more than two achievements or activities per question and really fleshing out the narrative behind them.

Why did you start this activity? What made you continue the activity, and what did you learn from it? Did you fail and keep going, did you become a better person, what kind of change did you make? Answering these types of questions implicitly through your personal insight question is going to feel a lot better to the admissions officer, and will flow better as a story. After all, the admissions officers already see your resume and your achievements, the personal insight questions are about you as a person.

Something important to remember is to add what is not on the resume; what types of emotions, ups and downs, and growth did you find through this one particular activity or event? It's OK if there's story isn't a perfect victory lap; it should have some difficult parts or some setbacks that you faced, because everyone is human. College is a time in your life where you will face setbacks and mess up at something. Admissions officers want to find students who are mature enough to understand and learn from their mistakes or things that are out of their control. If you also only portray positive things, admissions officers will become suspicious that you are lying or are omitting important details, which makes you look far worse than admitting that you made a mistake or that you got humbled by an unforeseen event.

Therapy Session

However, there is a fine balance between admitting to a certain mistake in a learning process or having to overcome an upsetting disappointment, and in just venting or “trauma dumping”. The admissions officer is not going to be your therapist, nor is a personal insight question supposed to be a diary. Personal insight questions are supposed to humanize you, but in the same way you wouldn't burst into a stranger's office and talk about every bad thing that ever happened to you in a chaotic 15 minute monologue, you shouldn't be trying to curry favor by complaining, accusing, or creating a sad story.

Your personal insight question should be almost like a book from English class. You introduce an experience, talk about a couple of difficulties encountered along the way, but then offer a satisfying resolution at the end. You can absolutely do this with difficult experiences; I have read many student essays that deal with difficult topics including bullying, grief, and health problems, but they all concluded their essay with the growth that they gained from the experience and how it has inspired them to do better in the future.

If you want a real life example, think about Malala Yousafzai, the famous girls’ education activist from Pakistan. She was able to tell her story through multiple books and speeches, but her goal was never just to make us feel bad for her. Malala’s goal was to spread awareness and motivate people to act in order to stand up for what is right. In the same way your personal insight question narrative should not just be to talk about all of the bad things that have happened, but focus on one key issue that you want to change about the world.

The thing to remember here is that unless you have learned a major lesson and set new goals based on the painful event that happened to you, you should talk about it with your therapist instead of writing it in your personal insight question.

Drama Class

This mistake I see is basically students trying to do too much. Either they seem like a completely different person from question to question, like they're switching characters in a play, or they're completely over exaggerating certain events to the point where it's almost comical. These students are very creative in that they are not necessarily lying, but they are not creative a consistent and realistic narrative about themselves as a person. Your personal insight questions should address different aspects of your personality with your life experience, but your writing style, overall message about your future or your goals, and generally how you portray yourself should be about the same throughout all of your selected questions.

You should not act like you are a mad scientist, a Pulitzer Prize winning author, and an open-hearted saint trying to save the children in impoverished countries within the same application. You can absolutely talk about how doing a medical volunteering trip where you read little stories you made-up to kids influenced your choice to go into pediatrics, but you should not be exaggerating each element of this story to unbelievable heights.

Not Answering the Question

Finally, common mistake is that students don't really stay on topic or answer the question completely, and instead veer into telling their own personal anecdote. Take a look at one of the personal insight question prompts below:

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

If I decided to talk about how I have really bad stomach aches and sometimes it makes it hard to study, but it also makes it hard to work, and a lot of times I have to stay at home on the weekend because my stomach hurts so much, I've started to pull away from answering the actual question. You should always ask yourself, “do the keywords in the personal insight question actually relate to every single sentence in this answer?” In my example, the answer is no, I started talking about work and I started talking about my weekend plans. You can absolutely talk about how a health condition impacts your education, or you can talk about how a family issue or other outside circumstance does, but you must always relate it back to your education since that is the topic of the question. Here are the keywords that every sentence in your PIQ  should match:

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.  (Leadership, influence, mediation, unity)

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.  (Creativity, originality, novelty, expression)

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  (Talent, skill, effort, performance/execution)

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (Education, opportunity, struggle)

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (Challenge, growth, achievement, persistence)

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (Inspiration, hope, vision, curiosity)

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  (Change, positive impact, support, community)

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (pick 4 words that are relevant to your chosen topic/reason)

If a sentence does not in some way relate to one of these words, it either needs to be removed entirely or cut down to less than 5 words. Unfortunately, college essays are not creative writing assignments, but are meant to express your answers to certain questions and prompts in a way that advertises you to a university. The best advertisements always are topical to whatever they are selling, whether it be an item or a feeling.

Final Thoughts

Writing your personal insight questions is arguably the most stressful part of the University of California application. We hope that this advice has helped you refine your drafts or improve your outlines. If you want more personalized advice based on your own essays, you can schedule a call with one of our counselors today.